The Lions' Pride

Find something he likes and give him incentives when he does well.

The first thing you have to do is get him to bond with you. Engage with him on his level. Play legos. Teach him how to throw a football or ride a bike. Whatever he's into. Once he bonds with you he'll value your relationship. Then you can begin to shape him, and it won't be hard. He will instinctively want to please you, so when you give him guidance he will likely follow it because he won't want to make you upset with him.

As far as school goes, be engaged. Sit with him while he does his homework. When he shows progress, tell him how proud you are. When he struggles, let him know you believe in him. Don't punish him for bad grades, and don't tell him you're disappointed. Just let him know you know he's smart and you believe in him. When he knows you care about how well he does in school it will motivate him because, again, he will value your relationship and he'll do whatever he can to earn your praise. But if you don't have that strong relationship with him you'll never have much influence with him.

I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but this is what I do with my sons and I'm very pleased. My oldest son just finished first grade and brought home straight A's every quarter. My four year old is about to start kindergarten and he can count to 100 and can almost read on a first grade level. And they're both really well behaved kids.

Just my

Be as involved in his school as you can. If your sched allows it, go to his classroom for any activities that they allow parents to come in for. My daughter has lunch bunch once a month where the kids are assigned a book to read, and parents can come in and have lunch, break up into smaller groups, and have the kids discuss the book.

Also, if he likes sports or extra curricular activities, these are a great way to incentivize for good school work; ie. if he wants to play baseball, tell him he is only allowed if school work comes first.

Read to him every night.
Go to the back to school nights.
Volunteer in the class room, if you can. I know its mostly moms, but they love dads too, if your schedule fits.
Spend time with him. Go to the playground, pool. Toss a ball. Ride a bike.
Encourage his interests in something non-academic. Baseball, bowling, soccer, theatre, music, etc. Any activity that teaches some discipline, teaches that success comes with practice. He'll make new friends, and it will keep him off the couch and out of trouble.

Great advice above especially by HolyLion. I will just add that you should put extra emphasis on his early successes, however minor they may be. As said above, its natural for him to seek your praise, so when you make it clear to him very early on, that an A on a quiz is great and it makes you very proud, it will stay with him that 'good grades in school = a good thing'. From then on, it will just be engrained in him that he needs to put effort into school and his goal is to earn good grades.

Good luck. These guys have given great advice. What I found with my daughter who is now 13 and pulls down straight A's across the board is much along the lines of what has already been said - homework first, be involved and make sure they have their priorities. Make it age appropriate as well. Reward effort, not always results. As they get older I find that it is important to keep them busy. They then focus on working, wether it is on school or hobbies or sports, not sitting around.

...and most importantly, take him to home PSU football games!!! Some of my most memorable times with my boys occur on home game weekends.

I don't doubt that this worked for you and your kids. My own parents stressed going to college to me and I'm glad they did as I have a great career that allows me to live a comfortable life. But I don't agree with insisting there is no other option than going to college.

Not everyone is college material, and I think our society has brainwashed us into thinking it's either a college education or bust. The fact is we have more people graduating from college than ever before, and many of them are saddled with tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they can't find a job in their field.

I would advise everyone to save for college, but wait and see if it's a good move for your kid. If they're good at math and science and want to be a doctor or engineer, college would be a good move. If they love art and music and want to get a degree in performance trombone, I would advise them to pursue their dream, but maybe steer away from sinking money into an ivy league degree.

Figure out what your kid likes to do, determine if it's feasible to make a career out of it, and then form a path with them to pursue it. I think it's criminal what we're doing to our young people today by saddling them with huge debt and worthless degrees that don't return on the investment. There are a lot of well paying careers out there that only require a two-year degree from a community college. And everyone knows once you're in the workforce for a few years nobody cares what your GPA was or what school you went to.

Absolutely agree with HolyLion. Its extremely sad to see hard working, smart, motivated college grads have no job options within their field coming out of college. More people than ever before are going to college because society has told us that if you want to go anywhere in life, you need college. It didn't always used to be that way, but this country has changed so much. Like HolyLion said, it really depends on what you major in. If the field a kid wants to major in is not lucrative, I wouldn't advise going to college. The debt can be debilitating.

Just make sure he grows up to be a Psu fan then you're set. All kidding just be there when he needs you, help with his school work. Do father son things together, taking him fishing, go camping or take him to a ball game. Most importantly just show him love.

Give a lot of love, be there for your kids all the time whether you like it or not, are tired or whatsoever, that will go a long way in teaching them the values of family. Be positive and never use the word, I'm disappointed in you when it comes to school grades or not meeting your expectations in sports, clubs or acter school activities. Discpline them with a positive attidue and try not to show your anger or impatience.

I'm deaf myself, if I didn't have wonderful parents I don't know where I would be today. I went to college, graduated with honors and now have a good federal government job in the IT field, am married to a wonderful woman and have 2 hearing boys, 5 and 4. I'm trying to follow their example and be there for my boys all the time, participate in whatever they want me to, volunteer at school for their activities when I can.

Most of all, for me, giving love is what it's all about, that goes a long way, it did for me.

My old man used to come up with creative ways to make me want to learn.

One thing I remember (and I don't know how old it was when he did it) was when we'd go to the grocery store or wherever, if I could figure out how much change he'd be getting back (before it showed on the register) he'd give me part of it.

Like if the bill was $8.47 and he paid with a $10 and I knew it was $1.53 he'd give me it.

Oh and encourage reading. I don't care what it is, just encourage it. Whether it be the sports section, the comics, some Goosebumps book (do they still make those) encourage the importance of reading.