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Giraffes were created when Mike Mauti uppercutted a horse.
'Respect All Fear None."
Mike Mauti can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Mike Mauti doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Game Time!
When Mike Mauti wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Mauti can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Mike can be compassionate man. He once had two knee surgeries to make things fair.....well, he tried anyway....
This post was edited by Seltz 20 months ago
Suck It Emmert!! and "Sorry for not being sorry for being a Penn Stater" - Philafan
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Mauti.
"A bowl game ain't nothing but a vacation." - Gerald Hodges
Jesus walked on water. Mike Mauti swims through land.
Before he goes to bed, the Boogyman checks his closet for Mike Mauti.
Quarterbacks call Mike Mauti "The Enema" because he scares the sh*t out of them.
Jesus wears a bracelet asking, "What Would Mauti Do?"
This post has been edited 3 times, most recently by All4PSU 20 months ago
Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain't come to play SCHOOL, classes are POINTLESS
Calvin johnson = megatron
Mauti = optimus prime
When Mauti speaks, E.F. Hutton listens.
October 12, 2013. PSU 43 - UM 40 (4 OT). Unfortunately this fan wasn't around long enough to see it!
When mauti finishes eating he uses the goal post as a toothpick
Mike Mauti actually died three years ago. The Grim Reaper can't find the courage to tell him.
Mauti's tears can cure cancer; too bad he's never cried.
The Big Bang was the culmination of the force behind a Mauti tackle echoing through time and space.
Mauti once fathered a child, his name is pain.
When Scotty says he needs more power, he is asking for more Mauti.
Red Bull is an energy drink diluted from Mauti's urine.
Mauti hunts bears, bare-handed.
Superman thought kryptonite was his only weakness, then he met Mauti.
Beaver Stadium was not built for football, but in an attempt to contain Mauti.
5 years before being born, Mauti was signed by the 85 Bears.
MC Hammer once told Mauti he couldn't touch him. Mauti tackled him so hard that he went broke.
Mauti wears pads to protect opposing players.
Clark Kent is Superman's secret identity; Superman is Mauti's secret identity.
This post was edited by BlkShoeCole 20 months ago
When aikman retired. After being hit by arrington it was because he knew that was a tickle compaired to what mauti would do to him
This post was edited by psusuperman 20 months ago
Saturating the market, are we?
Mike Mauti doesn't go hunting. The term hunting implies a chance of failure. Mike Mauti goes killing.
They once made a Mike Mauti toilet paper but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
The chief export of Mike Mauti is pain.
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